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I want to get married

Shortened Question:

I want to get married

Question:

Asalam Aliakum, Sheikh my question is..

I found someone and I want to get married.. and the brother revert to Islam for almost 10yrs, Alhamdulilah brother is even better than me born muslim and he is in late 20s and me too, over four month now I was begging my father to let us get married.. and he did not refuse but coming up with too much excuses.. me and the brother we are in the same country so my father want to see him and he decided to go and visit him but my father refuse to write for him invitation letter, then he again requested let us see each other in another country the brother he is okay again.. to go and meet him but again another excuse from my dad.. and the brother now he is not available to go and meet him.. but am just seeing my father is being stubborn.. can I go ahead with marriage, the problem is he is not saying dont marry him maybe he is afraid I will run away with him and am not ready for that.. I just need his blessing nothing else, what can I do so that he can accept or I can go ahead to do Nikkah…Shukran

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You state that your father has not refused you getting married to this boy, yet he has made no or very little effort to visit him. It may be that he is afraid to get his daughter married to a person he has no or very little knowledge about. Giving a daughter in marriage is one of the hardest and most crucial decisions for a father.

However, you are an adult and need to reflect on your own situation. Do istikharah and ask your father to also do istikharah whether or not it would be fruitful for you to get married to this boy. At times we may feel something to be the best decision, but since marriage is a long life commitment we should ask Allah Ta`ala to place the correct decision in our heart.  For further detail on istikharah, see the following link: http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/21896 .

Further, try to asses as to what the reason is for your father not to give you in marriage to this boy. Consult with a respected member of the family who has influence on your father and ask him to explain to him your situation.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hafizurrahman Fatehmahomed

Student Darul Iftaa
Netherlands

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

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